This is a form of self-inquiry practice is designed to help you explore and understand your "rescuer impulse," the deep-rooted drive to help or save others. The exercise involves several steps aimed at guiding you through a process of reflection, recognition, and eventual transformation of this impulse. This practice is inspired by Bill Plotkin's Wild Mind and its nature-based directional map of the psyche.
Preparation
- Find a quiet and comfortable space where you won't be disturbed.
- Have a journal ready for reflection and note-taking.
Grounding
- Begin with a brief grounding exercise. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take several deep breaths. Feel your body, see if you can loosen any tension with each exhale.
- Visualize roots extending from the base of your spine, growing deep into the earth, connecting you to a feeling of stability and presence.
Recognition
- Recall a recent situation where you felt the impulse to rescue or help someone.
- Describe the situation in your journal, focusing on what triggered your desire to help. Be as specific as possible about the scenario, your feelings, and your actions.
Exploration
- Reflect on what emotions arise when you think about this scenario. Is it anxiety, guilt, fear, love, a need to be needed, or something else?
- Write down any thoughts or beliefs that came up during the situation. For example, "If I don't help, no one will," or "People always need me to solve their problems."
Connecting to Roots
- Ask yourself when you first remember feeling this way. Look back at your past experiences for patterns or events that might have contributed to this impulse.
- Consider how this impulse related to your needs at that time. Write down any connections you can make between past events and your present desire to rescue.
Processing
- Reflect on the benefits and drawbacks of acting on this impulse. How does it serve you, and how might it be limiting you or others?
- Contemplate whether this impulse aligns with your true intentions and the person you wish to be—your Nurturing Generative Adult.
Integration
- Imagine engaging with the situation without acting on the rescuer impulse. What would be different? How might you support the person's autonomy and growth?
- Write down any insights or alternative actions that feel more aligned with the mature and nurturing qualities you aspire to embody.
Commitment
- Decide on a small step or boundary you can set for yourself the next time this impulse arises. Write it down as a commitment to yourself.
- Affirm this commitment with a simple phrase or slogan that you can recall, such as, "I nurture empowerment in myself and others."
Closing
- Review your reflections and acknowledge the courage it takes to explore these aspects of yourself.
- Close the session with a few deep breaths and a moment to thank yourself for your willingness to grow and learn.