The following is a list of negative beliefs, some of which we came to identify with from childhood and/or following traumatic events. Option: Identify the negative beliefs/self-talk familiar to you. Notice whether you experience these more often as "you" statements (i.e., from your inner critic), as "I" statements, or some combination thereof. Go gently as you identifty those familiar to you. Note: The antidote to these negative beliefs are the words of your Inner Advisor, which you can explore here.
Responsibility: defectiveness/shame
Negative cognition (NC) as a "you" statement
You are unworthy of...
You are worthless
You are unloveable
You do not deserve...
You are a bad person
You have to put others before yourself
It's not okay to have needs
You are defective / There is something wrong with you
You are a failure
You are terrible
You are not good enough / will never be good enough
You are too much
You are not enough
You are damaged / permanently damaged
You are ugly
You are stupid
You are invisible / deserve to be invisible / are not worthy of being seen and/or heard
You are a disappointment
You deserve to die
You deserve to be miserable
You are different (in negative sense)
You do not belong
Negative cognition (NC) as an "I" statement
I am unworthy of...
I am worthless
I am unloveable
I do not deserve...
I am a bad person
I have to put others before myself
It's not okay to have needs
I am defective / There is something wrong with me
I am a failure
I am terrible
I am not good enough
I am too much
I am not enough
I am damaged / permanently damaged
I am ugly
I am stupid
I am invisible / deserve to be invisible / am not worthy of being seen and/or heard
I am a disappointment
I deserve to die
I deserve to be miserable
I am different (in negative sense)
I do not belong
Responsibility: actions/guilt
NC as “you” statement
You should have...
You should not have...
You did something wrong
You did something unforgivable
You should have known
You should have known better
You will be exposed for the impostor/fraud that you are
You are an impostor/fraud
NC as “I” statement
I should have...
I should not have...
I did something wrong
I did something unforgivable
I should have known
I should have known better
I will be exposed for the impostor/fraud that I am
I am an impostor/fraud
Safety: perception of danger
NC as “you” statement
You are in danger
You will be hurt
You are going to die
You cannot trust anyone
It's not okay to show your emotions
It's not safe to show your emotions
It's not okay to be vulnerable
It's not safe to be vulnerable
You cannot let it out
You cannot speak your truth
It will overwhelm you / it is intolerable
It's horrible
NC as “I” statement
I am in danger
I will be hurt
I am going to die
I cannot trust anyone
It's not okay to show my emotions
It's not safe to show my emotions
It's not okay to be vulnerable
It's not safe to be vulnerable
I cannot let it out
I cannot speak my truth
It will overwhelm me/it's intolerable
It's horrible
Control: choices / self-efficacy
NC as “you” statement
You are not in control / You have no control
You are powerless
You are helpless
You are weak
You cannot get what you want
You cannot succeed
You have to be perfect
You have to please everyone
You cannot protect yourself
You cannot stand up for yourself
You cannot be trusted
You cannot trust your own judgment
You cannot trust yourself
It's not okay to establish boundaries; you will hurt others
It's not okay to practice self-care; self-care is selfish
NC as “I” statement
I am not in control
I am powerless
I am helpless
I am weak
I cannot get what I want
I cannot succeed
I have to be perfect
I have to please everyone
I cannot protect myself
I cannot stand up for myself
I cannot be trusted
I cannot trust my own judgment
I cannot trust myself
It's not okay to establish boundaries; I will hurt others
It's not okay to practice self-care; self-care is selfish